On Optimism, Part One

I have wondered, this past week or so, why I always seem to automatically look at the bright side of things.  It wasn't as if a year or two or however long ago I said to myself, "In order to be happier and improve my outlook on life, from now on I will always look at the bright side of any given situation."  It just happens; I just do.  And I have begun to think that the reason is some combination of events in my life thus far.  Vague, huh?  Let me try and explain...

When I was very young I would often go to my Grammy and Papa's (and then, Aunt Sue-Sue's) house.  Okay, I still do that, but for some reason it seems like I did it more a long time ago.  Anyways....whatever the occasion, other relatives would often stop by.  They would talk, and I would listen (I wouldn't look like I was listening, but I was, indeed).  I picked up on a lot of stuff, but one thing remains most prominent.  It was some celebration in the summer, 4th of July or thereabouts, and I was probably five or six.  Some guy-cousin or uncle, I can't remember, was explaining some long story to my Grammy as I had come inside the kitchen to cool off for a bit.  I can't remember what the story was, exactly, but I remember it being interesting.  After he finished telling the story, what my Grammy said next, while I filled up a glass of water at the refrigerator, was what has stuck for the past 13 or 14 years: "Wow...isn't it amazing how God always has a plan to eventually work out even the bad stuff for good?"  I meditated on this as I trumped back outside.  What if God really did?  I might have to wait a long time to find out!

It was a year or two later that I found out that this was a Bible verse (Thanks to Hide Him in Your Heart!), and like I said, it stuck with me.  I began noticing little child-like/childish things after a while.  Nothing huge, of course.  But I was always of the opinion that it was the coolest thing ever! (besides Beanie Babies and Juicy Juice, of course).  

I appeared to abandon the idea, however, as I took the rough ride into teenager-hood.  From ages 11 1/2 to almost 16, hormones started off on a bad nerve with me.  And if life seemed full of despair and desperation for me, I am a thousand percent sure that I made life complete hell for my parents.  At about age 14, I distinctly remember taking great pride in my decisive pessimism.  I was a pessimist!  I got angry about everything!  I really did, I am sure of it.  After all, I had to walk and talk the talk of my half punk/half grunge-goth "identity."  I thought I liked who I was, but in all honesty I have no memories of ever being truly happy and joyful at that time.  Every journal entry was mad at somebody because I wasn't allowed to do something, and contained many schemes for rebelling and plans for all I would "accomplish" once I turned 18.  

All of that to say firstly that I was horribly discontent and pessimistic, and secondly to apologize to everyone who was close to me during that stage.  I am surprised you all stuck it through, and commend you for it!  

But I suppose that, by the time I entered my Junior year, I had worn out most all of any pessimism I had been programmed with, besides the little healthy dosage left to make sure my life became dramatic at some points here and there so it remained "interesting."  I was far from through being resurrected from the depths of despair, but it was at that time that I joined my current improv group, and made some really good friends on swim team (before that, everyone I knew on the team was just a casual friend).  These two amazing groups of Godly people, along with the people I was already friends with at that time (those who stuck it through or stayed anyways, despite my entire existence being flawed at the time), and my wonderful family, dug me out of the hole I was in - by hand - and held me up to towards the Light; towards my heavenly Father.  Slowly, but surely, I have been changing for the better, with the help of them.  MOST importantly my parents, who never gave up on me and NEVER let me stray off completely to sell my soul to the world.  

Now I can see, though, that even as I completely and utterly regret those cursed year, wishing they had never happened, I can see that there are so many things that would not have happened and so many mistakes made later, were my wish to come true.  The consequences might be something as horrible as death or causing great shame to my family.  I may have gone off to college and fallen too far, without the desire for the help of godly friends or parental influence.  I might have never had the amazing opportunity of joining the Unintentionals.  Had I not been SO depressed at one point that my mother insist I join the homeschool swim team and swim all my frustrations out, I would not have the greatest group of friends on the entire planet.  And so much more!  

In other words, where would I be???  The outcome is unimaginable, even for me.  

So that, my dear friends (old friends, swim team friends, improv friends, and new friends....I love you all!), is one grand reason I am so entirely optimist all the time.  Even though something looks hopeless, I can almost guarantee it is NOT.  I wasn't hopeless, was I?  I might as well have seemed very much so; the 13-year-old  kid who dresses as grungily as she can and looks as angry as possible for her first therapy session in order to attempt to scare the psychologist off?  Yup, that is bad.  But now I am pretty sure my happiness level is consistently at about 98.5%, nearly all the time.  If I am not a miracle (not to sound full of it or anything) then I don't know what is.  Thanks so much, everyone, for everything!

~Jessica          

Prerequisites

These are some thoughts of mine that also happen to answer Rebecca's question in my "Reflections on 2008" entry....

I do not mean to seem like I am thinking and planning way ahead of myself, but at this moment as well as for some time I have felt as if there is a disticnt possibility that I will be married in what is now less than three years.  As I mentioned in the previous entry which was written too long ago (I am sorry about my absence as I have been going to too many sleepovers and then trying to get my life back on track, which, I have discovered, is a pretty hard thing to do), three years really is not a long time.  My life seems to go by in episodes of three years.  These next three, I feel as if God is telling me that they are specifically for marriage preperation.  

Unless my life's course drastically changes, in less than three years I shall become Mrs. Somebody.  In this alloted time, therefore, I need to prepare to take on that role.  There are, obviously, several "requirements" of being my Someone's wife.  No, I have not been sent a letter from any Somebodies detailing what these things must be in a "I won't marry you if you are not like this" kind of way.  No, there are just several things that God has put on my heart as being what I must have in place before the wedding day.  This is not to say that I am a terrible person now and I must do a complete 180 and become somebody else.  No, these are things which I desire to add on to my present self and to enhance what is already there.  These past 18 years have not been for nothing, but that certainly does not mean that I am done growing and developing.  I won't ever be, but I have to take it one step at a time.  

These things must be completed, but as we can all see I have a limited amount of time which must not be wasted.  I shall now detail the things I consider (or, rather, God considers) the "prerequisites" of a holy union with my Someone, the things which I must do to "study deserving," as Edward says in King Lear:

A Caring, Compasionate, Selfless Heart:  I shall waste no more time on anger or selfish deeds.  A woman of valor is not of those.  She is a servant, and I will now forever be.   

A Knowledge of Health and Healing:  I need to know how to properly care for myself, my husband, and our children.  If access to a doctor is limited or impossible, I must be the caretaker and healer.  Also, if we live in a rural area, possibly an area which harbors other refugees, I need to know how to heal and help them as well.

Pregnancy and Childbirth:  For the same reasons as above...for my own good and possibly the good of those around me.  One does not have to go through a 3-year Midwifery degree program to know what one is doing when a baby is coming out.  Still, I will strive to know as much as possible.

Faith:  Seeking God is important, no doubt, but it goes deeper than that.  I need to know everything he commands; everything he desires of me.  That means staying in his word daily and keeping myself from getting too caught up in life that I cannot take the time to listen to him.  And if the end times are coming, I need to not be blind about anything concerning them so that I will not be afraid.  Fear comes from a lack of knowledge.  

Occupation:  I need to make as much money as I can in this time so that I can buy waht I need for survival and to assist my husband in his endeavors to do the same.  It is of utmost importance that we create a safe life for ourselves and our future children as soon as we can, so money will be needed to go towards that somehow...in the form of a car, of books, perhaps seeds to grow our own food, building materials, livestock....whatever the Lord desires we do.  I guess it may sound a little "out there" to be assuming rural farming like this, but it is a possibility.  If it turns out that I do not live this lifestyle I already have what I need to live in a life like the one I have grown up in, that is all.  Anyways, I shall save for the future, whatever the future may be and however I might save for it.  It is probably better to put paper money back into the economy and get out of it real things of value anyways.  

So what about music and writing?  I feel as if those need to be put on the back burner now.  But saying that makes my heart ache....music and writing are the two things I have had the most passion for for my entire life, and now I am putting them off?  I guess it is because I am wondering if they are a waste of time.  Is creating a waste of time?  Maybe I am looking at it from the perspective that, if the economy breaks down, people are not going to have the money to invest in entertainment, they are going to need to invest everything in merely surviving.  So, it would be a waste of time to assume that I could write music and sell it or write a novel and sell it.  And why spend my time attempting to produce something that goes into what is already a market of uncertainty?  I could end up more broke than I am now.  

Am I completely giving up learning new instruments (after all, I did get a violin for Christmas...though somehow it is not as easy as I wanted it to be), composing, fiction reading, or writing stories?  No!  My mind just doesn't work like that.  It would just blow up eventually from deprivation of creativity.  I guess, looking back on this entry, this is already starting  to sound like you are reading Thesselonians or something practical like that, rather than witty Charles Dickens or something.  Sadness abounds.  :(  But I guess when all you have been reading is practical literature, all that comes out is practical.  *sigh*  

I guess it will not hurt to allow time for diversion.  After all....*lightbulb* my Someone is not going to want to marry a boring person, now is he?!?!  No, no, no, not at all.  Quite to the contrary, dear Watson.  ;)  Nevertheless, I shall proceed to abort this entry as my breakfast as thus far remained uneated and I am quite famished.

~Jessica      

Practicalities

A friend recently asked whether I liked this guy that I have been hanging out with a lot and if liked me or not.  "Well, it's not really like that," I said.  "What do you mean by that?"  she asked.  I then wondered how I had gotten so good at being vague.  "It's kind of a long story," I said, as we happened to be texting and I happened to be cleaning the house while we were doing so.  "I'll e-mail you later with an explanation."

So I took a very long time carefully thinking out how to explain it, only to find out that she skimmed over it to find the juicy parts (juicy?  No.  And they would have made more sense if she had read the whole e-mail!).  So I decided to post it on here for all ye "we already know about this...no big news or anything" people, in the hopes that you will tell me whether I explained myself well enough and in a way that doesn't sound TOO practical, dull, or rules-ish.  So, here it is:

Okay, here's the deal (like I said, it's a long story, so brace yourself). This is a natural thing for me because I've been brought up on the concept, and so has practically everyone else I know (we, the strange homeschoolers....). But, to put it as simply as I feel I possibly can while still making sense, we (me, this guy-friend, and our friends) see dating as kind of a frivolous thing. Some people do it for fun, other people do it because they like each other, other people do it because they love each other. But rarely is it ever for the purpose of getting married. Sure, you could turn that around and say, "well, you date to see if that person is the right person to marry." But there are problems with that. First of all, why use that particular format of spending time together and therefore get so emotionally attached to someone when it may not last? To have your heart broken? We all know that is absolutely no fun and it hurts just as much, if not more, every time it happens. Second of all, dating is even more pointless when the two people involved are not even close to being prepared for marriage. Referring back to item number one, you become attached to someone, and then what? You can't do anything about it. You can't get married. On top of that, throw in teenage hormones and an underdeveloped cerebral cortex (which, if you haven't taken any psychology courses yet, is the part of the brain which houses impulse control and moral judgment) and you have a GIANT potential mistake waiting to happen. The cerebral cortex is not fully developed usually until around 22 or 23.

 

Of course, a person, can learn to control his or herself in situations like that, which usually requires what I think of as "complete abstinence." That means not just not giving in to temptation, but avoiding anything tempting altogether so that the mind does not even feel an urge of any sort. Physical temptation, emotional temptation....it's all the same really. But a person can control his or her own mind. This means saying "no" to certain things. Things like being in any sort of romantic relationship before one is ready to do something. If you give yourself over emotionally, then what? If you give yourself over physically, then what? Of course, this doesn't make sense to a lot of people, most of whom just live for the moment. But I am thinking of my future husband. Is he going to want to hear of all the guys I gave my heart to? Who I gave any part of my body to? No, because I would not want to hear the same story from him. I want to give my heart only to my husband, and I want him to give his heart only to me. If you think about it, emotional/physical relationships before engagement and marriage are essentially adultery to my future husband. They will sit on my conscience forever, even if I tell him (which I will--I can't lie to my husband).

So you are probably wondering, "how on earth am I supposed to get married if I can't be in a relationship?" and perhaps, "if I were to be in a relationship, I guess I would have to sit there like a cold, heartless statue or something, wouldn't I?" That is where "courtship" comes in. Yeah, it's an old-fashioned term. And the way that this is a lot like arranged marriages may be a turn-off. But here is the concept: A guy and a girl are friends. Maybe just friends who exchange a little conversation here and there during or after church, work, school, or something else like that. Maybe they have a big group of mutual friends and they all hang out together often. Maybe their families are good friends with each other. Or any other situation you can think of. The girl may like the guy, maybe not. Maybe she has never thought about it, but she really likes him as a friend. He more than likely likes her. And it's not for shallow things like looks, but it is really about personality. He has been observing her in her natural habitat(s); observing her interactions with girls, other guys, little kids, older people, and her family. Chances are, she has been observing him in the same areas. In their conversations they have surely found, like any friends do, that they have many things in common, and that they like being around each other. Now, depending both on the age of the two parties involved, as well as the readiness they feel, it may be months or it may be years. In my case I know it will be at least two more years (but that is really beside the point). But one day, when they guy has prayed about it and sought others' opinions on the matter (not just his friends, but also his parents and probably other people who know the girl in mind), he will call up the father and ask to meet him for breakfast somewhere. I mean, it doesn't have to be breakfast, it doesn't have to be a phone call...just minor details. :D But somehow or another, he will get into a conversation with the father, and, once he musters up the courage, he will finally ask to court the daughter. It took my friend's older sister's now-husband three breakfasts with her dad to come out with the question.  Hey, I mean, it's a test of manly courage and things like that.  :) 

Anyways, next comes the courtship part. Firstly, it is important that both his and your families are involved. Secondly, courting is not dating. Courting is spending time together, but not investing in each other emotionally anywhere near as much as you would in a typical dating situation. Let's just say that that is very hard to do. The point of the courtship would be to get to know if the other is really right for a spouse or not. Well, there is no denying that emotion is going to get invested. After all, how are you supposed to hang out with someone (and, often times, that someone's family) with the hopes of getting married soon and be expected to not fall madly in love with each other in that process? That's why emotion and passion are not the main focus, no matter how present they happen to be. What courtship focuses on is practicality and logic about the situation, as well as making sure that God is the center of everything (if you are religious, that is). You probably know from experience that, in love, our first inclinations are to...well, feel love for that person. And feelings are very strong...you should never underestimate them. Thus, a feeling of passion can easily get carried away with itself. If no rules, boundaries, or limitations are set (like Cesar Millan says :P), then of course passion is going to be the center focus. But before the courtship begins, plans are laid out. And guess who gets to be in charge of it and who keeps an eye on the two as the courtship progresses? The parents and siblings! Yes, that sounds like a nightmare to most people, but really....the people who care about you the most and know you best, AND who are NOT emotionally invested in the relationship (or, at least, not nearly as much as you are) are going to be there for you the whole way! And if something doesn't seem right, they will let you know. The reality is that courtships don't always end up in marriage, though it is pretty rare. The reason is that courtship is meant to get to see if that person is right for you to get married to. And sometimes they are not. But most of the time they are, and once the courtship has been going smoothly and you both feel like you are called to marry each other at that time (it could be weeks, months, or years...), then the guy will (with the permission of her dad again, of course) ask the girl to marry him. Once engagement starts, then romance can really step into the picture, emotionally speaking, anyways. But proceeding with caution is necessary, as nothing is final till he and you have been pronounced husband and wife. And once THAT happens, it is officially time to invest in each other emotionally and physically and everythingelseically!!! I hope all this has made sense to you. Please, berate me with questions if it so pleases you. I don't want to leave you scratching your head and wondering when the homeschoolers went mad, if that wasn't what you assumed us to be anyways.  :D

So, yeah....like I've said before, my guy friend is a most amazing friend.  If something happens between us, then that is wonderful.  Now is just not the right time, and if the right time does come, the relationship will not go down like your typical guy-girl relationship you see most often in this culture.  I hope I have explained myself well enough and given you a different perspective that may even be inspirational!

Your friend,

Jessica

 

    

Come True

The layers of beauty surround me
As I sit here alone
We both know who created this
Now I want you to be here
To share this with me
And not just now, but forever more

The quiet here is thrilling
But the scratching of my pen
Reminds me of where my heart has been
I can hear your whispers
From far away in my ear
Will you ever walk the path with me?

I’m afraid to write about you
Afraid it is not due
Scared to wish on a melody
For fear it won’t come true

I find myself pondering
Why it changes so suddenly
Will inspiration ever find me?
I feel my soul unwinding
Hiding behind a story book
Perhaps the tale should not be told

One day I want to be lost
In the sea of your eyes forever
And in the sounds of your stunning harmonies
You’ll never believe the affections
That sprung from our recent farewell
Ever since I’ve been blind to everything…

If you want to hold
My heart in your arms
Just tell me, I’ll let you
I know you’ll do it no harm

~JCB

Relief...

"Don't try to do anything about this. Don't try to make anything happen. Surrender all of your confusion to me and rest assured I will bring you peace. Can't you see I am God? Nothing is impossible with me or in me. It is only when you attempt to do things without me that those things become impossible."

But I'm not trying to do it without you! I want what you want in my life!

"You do not realize it, but you are trying to do it without me. You are worrying too much about who I've chosen for you and how your romantic life is going to happen. In doing that you contradict yourself because you always end up trying to solve the questions and uncertainties yourself now, and you aren't letting me take over and work my wonders on my time......"

YOUR time?? You have all of eternity, and I only have 100 years!

"Don't you think I've carefully thought out your 100 years on earth? Besides, it is not about how your earthly life will turn our...it is how your life will turn out for all the rest of your eternity."

*grumble* I know....

"Now, surrender it all. Be completely honest with me and yourself. When has giving it all to me hurt you before? Something as simple as getting lost in the woods....you tried to find your own way back and you couldn't. But once you put your face down, didn't strain to look ahead and let me lead you home, you got there quickly. Why can't you have that faith in all areas of your life?"

Lilia

The meadow was green, full of beautiful weeds, wildflowers, wisteria and unkempt shrubbery. A miniscule waterfall poured delicately off a brown stone ridge. Moss lay in patches around the flat rocks by the shore of the stream, the sun shined as it was meant to. It showed off the radiance of all things green which were in the meadow; it shimmered on the stream, darted and danced between the waves of the waterfall.

A small girl sat on the water’s edge, feet in the water, pen in hand and a book of blank paper on her lap. Her long, wispy dark brown hair rippled as a gentle breeze whistled through the leaves of the brush. She wrote fast, intensely, and powerfully. A whippoorwill called from the top of the stone from which the waterfall descended, but this was a quiet she craved.

I Feel Rejuvenated!!

So yesterday I went to Wake Tech for my British Literature class. Most of you should know that I have a lot of fun in that class, so you can imagine my great and terrible disappointment when we (Elizabeth B. and me, that is) walked around the corner and there was nobody waiting in front of the classroom. A couple friends walking from the door of the classroom informed Elizabeth and me that the class was cancelled, but to sign the role on the door before leaving. With a great reluctance that only Elizabeth seemed to understand, I drearily signed my name and then stared off into the distance, wondering what to do for the next hour and a half. I was still in quite a slump that I had gotten into Monday morning (the same one that caused me to slackishly skip the morning and then the evening Masters swim practices), so by this time I had officially concluded it was not a Monday thing, but just a "thing" brought upon by some unknown source which cause un-productivity and feelings of meaningless and slight depression...as well as a lack of motivation. I can hear you all going, "Oh...that kind of slump...is 'slump' even the right word?"


Yes, that kind...and I don't know. That's why I'm hearing you all asking whether slump is the right word.


Suddenly it occurred to me as I looked out into the Tobacco-haze that there was a McDonald's up the street and that they had coffee. Good coffee. I suggested this to Elizabeth and she said that perhaps we should go to this other place instead...which has a name that I cannot remember, but it's very like Starbucks. And, preferring the coffee-shop environment to the very plastic-feeling environment at McDonald's, I agreed.


While we were there we got to talking (okay, we were already talking, but once we sat down we started talking about something else) about slumps. Apparently she had been in one, too. So we talked, and decided that the best way to get out of it was to actually do something (a little altering of advice from a couple of Bible studies, the book of Revelations, and Dr. Laura played a little part). So we got our school stuff and made a decision to work on it. So we started discussing Beowulf, and then a friend from Elizabeth's sculpture class came in and we talked a while with her...and then we had to go. But when we got up, everything was different. All that talking about slumps and making official decisions to DO something and not be in them anymore.........made all the difference. We felt great!!!

That morning I had driven with a straight face, staring straight ahead, with the windows cracked and the music on, but not very high. I was bored, and wanted nothing better than to be rid of my brain so I could just stop thinking altogether. After the coffee shop, I rolled the windows all the way down, blasted my music (Nickel Creek, for the record), and completely rocked out. I had to set cruise control so I wouldn't go too fast.....

The rest of my day was spent relatively well. Instead of being in a fog I was Claritin Clear, in a great big bubble of happiness, bouncing around, smiling and singing and feeling so amazingly joyful that I couldn't imagine going back to being in such a funk. Lesse...I wrote a blog for the Quotes Only blog, looked up squash recipes, decided to make up my own recipe instead, went squash-shopping, picked up Marck, Hannah, and Noah from swim (in the mean time speaking for a brief moment to the rest of my homies), came home, experimented with the squash, ate said experiments, decided they were good, but to not put so much sugar on them next time, made a video with Marck, worked on my Beowulf composition (it's sounding better since I'm out of that darned mood and can actually think straight), sat around outside with no point whatsoever but didn't mind, and cleaned up the kitchen. I feel absolutely fantastic.

And there's water polo tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, I do believe there's such a thing as over-use of exclaimation points. What are you trying to say?

Wonderful People!

Here are some more comments from that forum thread about homeschooling vs. private and public. These people just see it...the way I see it. Please, do not feel any pressure to be convinced. I only want to try and get my point across, and you know I am simply terrible at debating (I would never make a good politician...and I'm too honest for that profession, anyways):

-1-

I am homeschooled and have been homeschooled for seven years now. The majority of my friends are not homeschooled, but I have a large variety of friends who are. The reason most of my friends are not homeschooled are because I am not in an enviroment where I a subjected to other peers my age seven days a week.Therefore I have learned to be much more open minded to EVERYBODY. Adults, Children, the Elderly... hey are ALL m friends, and I visit them ALL often. Age is jsut a number, and I feel as though I would not have been able to gain that frame of mind if I had stayed in public school.This is my senior year of highschool, and mst of my friends are graduation homeschool style with me. I ahve never had social issues being homeschooled BUT I do feel the need to state that it all depends on the family.If you are going to homeschool your child and not allow them to be in co-ops, have tutors, go to football games, yoga classes, ect. Then you cannot expect them to be social butterflys and cope well in large groups. But if you socialize your child often, then they will probably end up better than average. I feel as though I am very open minded, th vas ajority of my friends are my age, but I love everybody not mattr how old or what race or religion, because I ahve learned that you really don't pick your friends like you are taught in public school, they choose you, and you jsut just have to love them to be happy, no matter who they are or what they do.I like public schools, but I do feel as homeschooling helps students to hold on to their indivuality more and to help them not to form to society and helps them cope with being different in life.The #1 problem I ahve had while being homeschooled was public schooled children. Because they do not know how to react to somebody different then they are, so they automatically jump to conclusions such as homeschooled kids are socially inept, too smart or not smart enough, and that they cannot face reality. They we are ALL "sheltered' and bake cornbread and wear matching jumpsuits and have 15 kids in evry family.Now there ARE some people like that.... but not all..... and homeschooling is NOT for everybody, but can be a wonderful wonderful thing if used correctly.


-2-

I went to a religious private school and hated it. I'm not sure I would have liked public school. I like the idea of homeschooling or unschooling and plan on trying that with my own (future) kids, but it probably would not have worked for me because I do not get along with my mother at all and being at home with her all day would have been torture. The best thing for me would have been to have either gone away for school or to have quit school altogether and gone straight to college or living abroad. I got my real education when I was in college, which I loved. High school was a huge waste of my time. For example, I spent twelve years in school studying a language and never learnt it. As an adult, I spent two years living abroad and learnt two languages. I always thought I was bad at languages, turns out, I'm good at languages, they were just bad at teaching it. The worst part for me is that now I have to watch my neice go to the same grade school that I went to and I have to watch them force knowledge and authority on her and her growing to hate it and there's nothing I can do (yeah, I guess I'm still angry).


-3-

Institutionalised learning, whether public or private, is almost invariably inefficient, grossly so. As a means of making sure people learn the basics, like literacy, when otherwise they wouldn't have - say with illiterate parents - it was fine, but as a means of learning as much as possible, as easily and quickly as possible, of the things that are most necessary, it's tantamount to a disaster. Teaching yourself is by FAR the more efficient method, with some mentor - whether a parent or teacher - helping out when you're stuck, giving practical opportunities to use the knowledge where it's useful, but that rarely happens until you get closer to college.
You can learn from a book in ten minutes the information that is put across in the average lesson by a teacher addressing the whole class. In addition, there is too much redundancy in what is taught, and assessed, and the pace rarely suits everyone. Any confusion a child may experience is rarely identified at the moment it occurs, thus causing more confusion further down the line. You could cover the same ground in a fraction of the time with much more independent study, and added up over the years...
As for the supposed benefits of socialisation, the people who are in most need are the ones most ill-served by such institutions. The people who socialise easily with those others tend to be on pretty much the same page; others who struggle do so because they're on a very different page, and exposure to the others doesn't automatically lead them to understand where others are coming from. You have to be in the ballpark to understand what would otherwise seem like irrational behaviours. If you're not in the ballpark, a confused misery is liable to result, rather than enlightenment.


-4-

If we call public school what it really is ... government school, then realizing the benefits of homeschooling might be a little more apparent.
"Government schools will teach children that government is wonderful." ~ Neal Boortz


-5-

Quote:Originally Posted by nextGENERATIONhippie Personally i think public school is better, children need to be taught social skills, and well as academics
Please explain to me which social skills, apparently learned only in an institution, you would like my children to be learning?
Let's see....
My kids socialize with each other, with me and my husband, with our landlady, neighbors, friends, and extended family.
My kids socialize at the many social gatherings we attend through homeschooling support groups.
My kids socialize at the supermarket, the post office, the vet's office, at cooperative learning sites, and the many other places we go.
My kids aren't limited to socializing with 20 other kids their own age. They have friends who are four and friends who are forty.
My kids aren't EVER told, "You're not here to socialize." I heard that a lot when I was in school.
My kids aren't ever made to eat their lunches in silence or be completely quiet while traveling places. The same can't be said for their publicly schooled friends. My 15yo's best friend is not allowed to talk on the school bus.
My kids aren't forced to get naked and shower with strangers. If they encounter a bully of any sort, they have the option of not interacting with that person anymore.
Yeah....I could go on and on. Basically, my kids are treated the way I'd like to be treated. They're treated as people.
I've seen the sort of "socializing" which goes on in public schools. I attended public schools, myself. I think it's sad that that is what's considered normal. I think we'll continue to live our abnormal, outside-the-box lifestyle. Funny how people always tell me how mature and pleasant my kids are.


-6-

Oh how it pains me to see the ignorance on this thread :/I am seventeen years old and I've adored home-schooling. I've attempted all sorts of schooling, a private academy, curriculum led home-schooling and public school. I think it depends mostly upon the child and their motivation-but I am a strong advocate for alternative schooling. I've always been incredibly self-motivated and public school left me stuck and frustrated. Everything moved too slowly for my liking and I hated the busy work. I agree that you must "learn how to play the game" by doing this busy work and being with less than enjoyable people, but it doesn't take long to learn. Public school is not the real world-I find that is the most common misconception among people who are against home-schooling. You are confined inside a building 7-8 hours a day doing busy work that may or may not help you learn anything at all. You do NOT learn social skills by being around a bunch of jello-eating sheep that are only your own age.I've had the opportunity to meet and befriend people of all ages and from all over the world-I'm certainly not anti-social or otherwise "weird".My education has been mostly self-led, my parents interfere only when I ask them to. I learn what I want, when I want, how I want-and that has worked well for me. I've studied the basics a bit, but the beauty of my schooling is that it allowed me to go in depth with things I really wanted to, such as my field of study now, Anthropology.I have a beautiful education and so many wonderful experiences I'm sure lots of kids in public school don't have time to experience while sitting in stuffy classrooms reading textbooks and copying definitions. That works well for some people, but I wouldn't trade my schooling for the world! There is also a high demand for home-schoolers in swell paying jobs because they have much more flexible schedules.I am also not hurting for college acceptances-I've been accepted to every school I've applied to and been offered many a scholarship.


-7-

I'm homeschooling my 8 yr old now. We pulled her out of public school last October when we found out her teacher was getting violent in class (knocking over a desk in front of a kid, yelling at the kids, intimidating them, not letting them go to the bathroom, etc.). The principal tried to minimize it and justify it and basically cover for the teacher, who we discovered has had a temper problem for years and had been allowed to remain in the school anyway.So I quit my job and began homeschooling her. Then in April we moved to a new area and thought we'd try the school here, which by the way was rated pretty high on the scale of best schools in the U.S. (yeah right). However after a few weeks it became apparent that in the 6 months or so that my daughter had been homeschooled she surpassed her grade level to the point that she HATED being there because it was so boring. In fact, she was way ahead in every subject. I tried talking to her teacher about it and asked if she could give her more challenging work but was met with cold disregard and some lame excuse that she can't alter her curriculum. Also we found out the school won't let her skip grades either. So basically our choice was to conform to a completely inadequate system or homeschool. We chose the latter. At this point, I doubt we'll ever try public school again. But... I do like to look at every situation as being unique, so if we ever move to an area that has a truly good public school, I'd consider it.As far as private schools, I guess that depends on the school too. Also, they tend to be pretty expensive.


-8-

I pretty much said f*** public school at 9th grade. Since then I've read nearly everybook under the sun. Public schools focus too much on repetition and memorization instead of actually grasping and understanding what is being taught at the time.
One famous auto-didact, Albert Einstein , had his own thoughts about public schools:
" Education is what's left after you forget what you learned in school "
" Any fool can know. The point is to understand "
and Frank Zappa offers up this gem :
" I never let school interfere with my education "

Sometimes other people say it better...

Incase you were wondering how I feel right now…it’s weird. This entry is long, but not because of me. I just put the lyrics to three songs on here…links so you can listen. I love these songs right now, and “Viva la Vida.” I didn’t put that on here, figuring that at this moment it’s popular enough…

SUDDENLY I SEE - -KT TUNSTALL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-At6avvY_4

Her face is a map of the world
Is a map of the world
You can see she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl

And everything around her is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
She holds you captivated in her palm

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

I feel like walking the world
Like walking the world
You can hear she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl

She fills up every corner like she's born in black and white
Makes you feel warmer when you're trying to remember
What you heard
She likes to leave you hanging on her word

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

And she's taller than most
And she's looking at me
I can see her eyes looking from a page in a magazine
Oh she makes me feel like I could be a tower
A big strong tower
She got the power to be
The power to give
The power to see

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me


STILL FIGHTING IT - - BEN FOLDS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOI1HAq4XcU

Good morning, son.
I am a bird
Wearing a brown polyester shirt
You want a coke?
Maybe some fries?
The roast beef combos only $9.95
Its okay, you don’t have to pay
I’ve got all the change

Everybody knows
It hurts to grow up
And everybody does
Its so weird to be back here
Let me tell you what
The years go on and
We’re still fighting it, we’re still fighting it
And you’re so much like me
I’m sorry

Good morning, son
In twenty years from now
Maybe we’ll both sit down and have a few beers
And I can tell you ‘bout today
And how I picked you up and everything changed
It was pain
Sunny days and rain
I knew you’d feel the same things

Everybody knows
It sucks to grow up
And everybody does
It’s so weird to be back here.
Let me tell you what
The years go on and
We’re still fighting it, we’re still fighting it
You’ll try and try and one day you’ll fly
Away from me

Good morning, son
I am a bird
It was pain
Sunny days and rain
I knew you’d feel the same things

Everybody knows
It hurts to grow up
And everybody does
Its so weird to be back here.
Let me tell you what
The years go on and
Were still fighting it, were still fighting it
Oh, were still fighting it, were still fighting it
And you’re so much like me
I’m sorry


WHEN YOU COME BACK DOWN - - NICKEL CREEK
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNtxQ3CQhhA – live performance…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGXt8TLxmM0&feature=related – Normal recording, with LotR Images…(just look away and listen...it's cheesy and ruins the whole song)

You got to leave me now, you got to go alone
You got to chase a dream, one that's all your own
Before it slips away

When you're flyin' high, take my heart along
I'll be the harmony to every lonely song
That you learn to play

When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down

I'll keep lookin' up, awaitin' your return
My greatest fear will be that you will crash and burn
And I won't feel your fire

I'll be the other hand that always holds the line
Connectin' in between your sweet heart and mine
I'm strung out on that wire

And I'll be on the other end
To hear you when you call
Angel, you were born to fly
If you get too high, I'll catch you when you fall
I'll catch you when you fall

Your memory's the sunshine every new day brings
I know the sky is calling
Angel, let me help you with your wings

When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down
Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down


Aren’t those great songs…? *sigh*

Those Pass-Along Fill-Out Things...

So I originally intended to post the first edition of my "On Writing" series (which really makes me sound serious, doesn't it?), on description. But, you see, I happened upon those little fill-out things that you find on people's blogs when they don't know what else to post. While no one really cares to read what I say on them (why would they?) I will now post a couple and get it over with. Well, after this word about fortune cookies, anyway:

I got a fortune cookie the other day. Well, I found it in the van. I don't know how long it had been there, but it was unopened, so I decided to eat it. So I opened it and...well, the fortune read like this:

"Here we go: Moo-shu cereal for breakfast with duck sauce."

So, I was just slightly confused. A teeny-tiny bit. I mean, most fortunes are something like:

"Freed from desire, you can see the hidden mystery."

But this moo-shu cereal ordeal is the most preposterous...well, anyway. On to better and more enlightening things!

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)

2. Put it on shuffle

3. Press play

4. For every question, type the song that's playing

5. When you go to a new question, press the next button

6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool - first songs only

Opening Credits- Hey Jude- The Beatles

Waking Up - Killer Queen- Queen

First Day of School - I'll Stay With You - Goo Goo Dolls

Falling in Love - Pride (in the name of love) - U2

Fight Song - Help - The Beatles

Breaking Up - Charlie- Red Hot Chili Peppers

Prom - You Really Got Me -Van Halen

Life's Ok - That's All - Genesis

Mental Breakdown - I'll Sue Ya - Weird Al

Driving - Could it be Forever - Partridge Family

Flashback - Strawberry Fields Forever - the Beatles (AGAIN!!!)

Getting Back Together - Tell Me Baby - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Wedding - Storm in a Teacup - Red Hot Chili Peppers

The Night Before the War - What is and What Should Never Be- Led Zeppelin

Final Battle - I Want You Back Where You Belong -.38 Special

Moment of Triumph - Magic Carpet Ride - Steppenwolf

Death Scene - Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me - U2

Funeral Song - The Saints are Coming - Green Day and U2

End Credits - Love Isn't Always On Time - Toto

1. What is your occupation at work? I work for my dad some, and babysit occasionally...now you understand why I'm always complaining about not having money

2. What color are your socks right now? White, gray and blue, but in a minute they will magically transform into purple, indigo and turquiose.

3. What are you listening to right now? "Freebird" by Lynyrd Skynyrd

4. What was the last thing that you ate? String cheese

5. Can you drive a stick shift? I tried and failed miserably, but it was a really strange car...

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Either red violet or violet red, and seeing as I can't decide, I think I'd be green, to keep it simple.

7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My Bible study leader

8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? I like Sarah if that's what you mean

9. How old are you today? 9 days away from being 17 1/2
10. Favorite drink? Vault...sorry, it has officially replaced Mountain Dew

11. What is your favorite sport to watch? I guess basketball, but I normally only watch football on TV

12. Have you ever dyed your hair? Yeah, with henna, and no one could tell

13. Any pets? Nancy my Jack Russel/Mountain Fiest and Luke Skyhopper Slashrat Othello Amadeus Loray, my chinchilla

14. What was the last movie you watched? Nicholas Nickleby!!

15. Favorite day of the year? Leap Day. So all the other years are pretty boring

16. What do you do to vent anger? Play heavy metal really loud or run or play guitar
17. What was your favorite toy as a child? Baby bear and my cooker set stuff

18. What is your favorite season? Summer, 100% and 100 degrees

19. Hugs or kisses? You can't mess up on a hug, and you can't kiss everyone you love

20. Cherries or Blueberry? Blueberries

21. Do you want your friends to email you back? They do, in time

22. Who is most likely to respond? I suppose nobody, because I don't usually e-mail people who send stuff like this out

23. Who is least likely to respond? In the case of the previous answer, everyone I regularly e-mail

25. When was the last time you cried? a couple of days ago
26. Who is the friend you have had the longest and sending this to? I'm not sending this to anybody, but on Blogger I have known Allison and Nicholas the longest, with the Hargetts being close runners-up

27. What did you do last night? Ate pizza, watched a movie, did math, went to bed

28. Favorite smells? Chlorine, gardenias, raw beef, the beach

29. What inspires you? Music, movies, books, dreams, pictures, the morning

30. What are you afraid of? Being mistaken for someone I'm not

31. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers?! Niether. I prefer hickory smokes with everything except cheese and spice

32. Favorite dog breeds? Akitas, Alaskan Malamutes, Boxers, Rottweilers, Huskies, American Staffordshire Terriers, Fox Terriers (smooth coated), Jack Russels, Staffordshire Bulls, Finnish Spitzes, Shiba Inus, and Border Collies

33. What would you have for your last meal? I went to Applebees and had shrimp fettucinne alfredo

34. Favorite day of the week? Thursday (swim and improv!)

35. How many states have you lived in? Uno, my friend, and in the same house, too

36. Favorite holiday? Any holiday involving food

37. Ever driven a Motorcycle or heavy machinery? I've ridden a motorcycle, and driven a lawn mower like Sarah said...

38. Your favorite NFL team? Panthers and the Colts

39. Do you have a house phone that is NOT cordless? We have 1 cordless and two with cords

40. 10 inches of snow or 100 degree weather? 100 degree weather, at all costs, sil vous plais.

So, there you go. Now you know enough about me to be my twin. Good for you! If I ever have an opening for a Twin position, I'll get an application to you if you're interested.

Bye for now!

~Jessica