Purple Azaleas (SP???) Are Taking Over the Planet!!!

Happy half-birthday to me!!!

Well, I am not sure what to write. You see, I suppose that I felt a little awkward posting some of my poetry on here. I guess it felt emotionally “immodest” or something. I mean, fortunately nobody seemed to notice that it was conveying incredibly deep feelings, so deep that it wasn’t even that good of a poem in and of itself. I just feel a little exposed right now.

It was alright, I mean, that I did it. No one really cares what the difference is—whether I bare my soul or not. I imagine that at least a couple people liked it well enough to say they did, and I’m happy to know that those people I have known for a very long time and so I don’t mind them knowing the secrets of the deep, dark corners of my mind. But I still feel exposed.

I guess I am trying to say is that I think I’ll be a little more careful about not pulling what Elizabeth Elliot calls an “emotional striptease.” It wasn’t intentional-honest. And I will probably still post some poetry up here every once and a while, or maybe start a weekly poetry spot or something. That is, if I feel the poems are “right”. I don’t want to get used to telling the whole world how I feel. Most of my thoughts and feelings I plan to reserve for God and my husband. I don’t want either of them to feel betrayed by my rash actions in the area of blogging. It’s very easy to speak from the bottom of my heart here—there are plenty of things I can say on an instant on paper that I could never say to someone’s face. As a matter of fact, I’ll rarely say anything personal to anyone.

A note to all my wonderful friends who read my blog (well, all seven or so of you anyways): Please read with discretion, and I beg you to please tell me if you think I am saying too much. I know I have a weakness in wanting so desperately to have someone to confide every thought to, and I really don’t want to give in on here, even though it’s incredibly easy to. I need to draw the line between journal writing and blogging—they are certainly not the same thing!

Now, on to lighter subject matters:

Uh…I can’t seem to think of any. I’m in the middle of a writer’s block as a result of my having to work on my bloody English paper last night instead of watching Madagascar with the rest of my family. It was most tragic. I’ve been begging for months to watch it again. If you will please refer yourself to my profile, it is listed as one of my favorite movies. I love it. Before I even watched it I loved it. You hate it compared to how much I love it! Tee-hee. But then my family “denied me and betrayed me” and decided to watch it last night, of all nights, after I begged and pleaded that they watch something else, and even listed several titles out of our humble collection of movies that I would not mind them watching without me, but they were stubborn and refused. Perhaps my dad wanted to because it’s the only widescreened movie that takes up the whole screen of our new (not-so-humble) television.

So, sorry, no happy thoughts available. Try again later.

Yours most ever the truest and bluest (because blue walls encourage productivity),
~Jessica