Changes to Platinum Team and Elsewhere...

Gee. First our water wasn’t working. Then our washer broke. Then we got natural gas, and our stove has to be re-programmed or whatever you do to stoves. We thought the worst was over, until our TV decided to act up. So now we have to go and buy another TV. At least my dad is happy about that.

Before I say anything else, it is my greatest desire of the moment that I say something about my new chosen occupation. I am now a counselor. A therapist kind of counselor. Who do I counsel? Well, I first had to start with myself, because I had the most overwhelmingly horrible burden placed upon myself, by myself (which makes it even worse). You see, I was talking to myself about something to do with chocolate, and…it was most traumatizing. I didn’t say chocolate like I normally say it: Chock-uhl-uht, I said it like: Chack-al-at. Oh, it was terrible! So, I asked myself, “What, are you from Wisconsin or something?” And myself timidly replied, gulping, “n-no…”. I was devastated for being asked this. But then I consoled myself by saying, “Don’t worry, everyone’s been accused of being from Wisconsin at least once in their lives,” and then began a regular old counseling session with myself, implementing various strategies and ideas from my Psychology class last semester. After this, I felt much better, and decided that it might be a good deed to provide this sort of service for the rest of the world. After all, who isn’t upset when accused of being from Wisconsin? People from Wisconsin? No, because it is not a false accusation. However, the rest of the world surely needs consoling and proper direction, so I have started a clinic specifically for that purpose. I will be holding sessions in my living room until I can secure a more neutral and industrial location. Call ahead; no walk-ins, please.

Now, on to better items.

It seems as though this world is coming to an end, am I right? I don’t know, I just really felt like saying that. Henceforth, I now shall post a post about something I posted on another post which was, coincidentally, about posting, though the post I posted on the posting post had nothing to do with the post that was posted about posting. Am I clear?

So…platinum lane. Last Thursday, Coach was feeling rather under the weather (an understatement on my part), and forgot that silver team had another half hour before they were adjourned. Nonetheless, he let them go, and then walked over to platinum lane and stared at Nathan, Noah and I blankly. We asked him something along the lines of wondering why he was giving the silver team such a break. It then dawned on Coach what he had done, but he waved it off. To make a longwinded explanation somewhat short-winded, he said platinum could either get out themselves, or stay in and give ourselves sets. Mr. Hargett was going to stay and coach the blue team, but Coach apparently wished to leave. This began a dispute among the three remaining platinum lane swimmers of WHO was in charge. I thought I should be, because I was (at that great moment in history) the fastest in the lane. However, there was a big dispute between 50’s and too much compromising on my part. Never the less, here’s how it went down, for those of you who weren’t there (and no, Matt…I didn’t get rid of Nathan yet, and you’ll see why in a sec):

Platinum lane has now been declared a Democracy/Monarchy/Socialist Republic/Dictatorship.

Positions:

Those present at the designation ceremony:

Jessica (aka me): President (ha), Prime Minister, Czar, Dictator, Emporer

Nathan: King, General of Nuclear Warfare (now you understand why I can’t banish him at this time)

Noah: Peasant, Air Force, Navy (I’m not sure how he could be all three…some sort of strange transition happened when Nathan and I put him in the dungeon for a fortnight)

Those not present:

Kara: Executioner/right hand woman

Sean/Shaun/Shawn/Howeveryouspellyourbrother’sname: Scribe (since he’s so quiet all the time, might as well give him something to do)

Matt: Minstrel (no elaboration necessary)

Alex, Nathan & Laura: Citizens (but not peasants), (until they come back and designate positions for themselves)

Lizzie: Planner of various events

Sarah: Photographer/artist

Joel: Jester

David: The One Who Keeps Those Who Are Bored Busy By Asking Them Random Questions

We plan to soon kidnap everyone on the whole swim team, build up our ranks and then take over all other area swim teams with our mighty powers…or something like that. We could just take the whole swim team to an island somewhere to escape being ruled by Hilary Clinton. At that time I may decide to step down to be replaced by a male ruler (of my choice), since it would be contradicting to escape a woman president in order to still be ruled by one…even if I’m not a democrat.

So long and thanks for all the fish!

~Jessica