Examination

Love fills in what is not there
Where photographs and people stare
At me from afar and say
“Where did your sunshine go today?”
I have found it in a looking glass
On the bottom of an hour glass
I sit and ponder, let my mind wander
Stop looking at me like that
What is love, what is freedom?
Is the perfect product on this isle?
Was I so cold to a familiar face
Yet so kind to a stranger?
Mumbling, curt and cold
To someone just doing his job
I find, perhaps, I wish I never
Knew myself, my selfish self

If there was anyone else around
Who could be me, surely
I would ask them to replace my soul
Let my other self go away
Maybe you all love me, maybe not
And what’s undesirable is only a small bit
Of what everyone sees-who I am
But does SHE see? I fear so
Tell me what it’s like to be with
Her, with him, with them
In your house, so strange in all my dreams
Where life finds itself with no seams
I sit, paralyzed as nightmares play
Longing for the break of day yet I
See the sunshine and the glare of
The days which may never come

Internal beauty, fine connection
Makes so perfect imperfection
Life wants to take me along, to go
Find my true potential, even through
The noise. My heart may go off on a
Tangent of how it should not run wild
And rampant, but has what is precious still
In my mind, imagining to have my will
Breathing in and breathing out a rainbow
As the sun rises, the fields glazed with
Rain and the haze settled on top
There, perhaps, my heart will forever
Chance, my eyelids won’t droop, and I
Will not feel the stabbing pain of leaving
Ideals behind. My face begs the light wind
To again blow the beads from my brow...

~JCB