Out of Control Feminism

There are a lot of things that bother me. I try not to lose my temper over them...well, at least not in public. But this is a blog, and my blog at that. I will now express my views of feminism. Bear with me here.

Feminism, to me, is a pretty stupid idea. All this "women's rights" stuff probably had good intentions in the beginning, but has gotten out of hand. Women are not equal to men--it's that simple! It is impossible for them to be so, unless they become men. And even after an operation and many steroids and testosterone pills, I have this feeling that a woman's brain would still work like a woman's brain. Men and women are very, very different. Sure, some women are more "tomboyish", and some men exhibit "feminine" qualities, though these days it is sad that sensitive, gentlemanly, chivalrous men are often confusedly perceived by our perverted society as being gay, when in fact they are far from it. Psychologically androgynous folks such as myself and a few of my friends are probably about as "gender-neutral" as you will find. But I still have my distinctly feminine personality traits, interests, talents, and thought patterns, besides being aware that I am a lady and sticking to that concept (have I ever mentioned how much I love dressing up and getting very pretty for a nice occasion?). And, though I am very athletic, I have a woman's body, which is genetically much weaker than a man's. The same thing with a guy friend of mine...androgynous, but distinctly masculine (the good kind of masculine), psychologically and physically.

No feminist movement is going to change these giant genetic differences between men and women. Still, some things are changing, and it is very upsetting. Women are becoming aggressive, and men are becoming passive. I never understood why, when I was younger, I would mention that found a guy attractive, and my public schooled girl friends asked whether I had asked him out, and if I hadn't, they suggested that I should. Why? If he isn't interested in me enough to ask me out, why should I ask him out? And the reason I get is that "it really puts a lot of pressure on the guy to ask the girl out", this from both guys and girls.  Well, you know what? BE A MAN and get over the pressure! Women are becoming the men because they seem to get over that pressure pretty quickly. And dating is just one scenario (which, for the record, I would not have considered anyways, no matter who did the askings-out).

Another situation: in a household which would be considered "sexist", typically a woman is not demeaned to some object which the man won like a trophy and can do what he likes to with. Yes, maybe back a few hundred years ago it was common. But since....oh, when was it, King Arthur's day?...the treatment of women has gotten steadily better. Of course, there have always been insecure, power-hungry "men" who like to lord over their wives and abuse them in a variety of different ways. But I have grown up in a household where my father is the man of the house and my mother willingly submits. She is not in any way his slave. She has not lost any of her identity. I don't know why feminists think that this is what happens when a woman submits to her husband, as if submission has a terribly negative connotation. Our house is extremely well-balanced, compared to many unbalanced egalitarian households where there is a constant struggle to maintain equality in every little area. My mother is a housewife and a home school teacher; my father owns several different enterprises, big and small, and he is the breadwinner of the family. My mother, siblings, and I help out with some of the businesses from time to time, but the majority is done by my dad. He does not mind this, and works hard so that my mom does not have to go work outside the home. My parents make decisions together, but my dad has the final say. My mom is in charge of necessity shopping, so she handles most of that money. Never has there been an argument about who is supposed to be wearing the pants or about whose right it is to have something or to not do something. Almost all of my friends have families exactly like mine, and I intend to submit to my husband when I marry him and prevail to be "A Woman of Valor."  (for those of you know are scratching your heads, that is a reference to Proverbs 31:10-31. <<--Click on it.) 

I am not very well read-up on the history of feminism, that is true. I have never really wanted to be; "girl power" is a highly unattractive concept to me. Basically what I mean is that I do not like how feminism has evolved. Sure, it has good points and I am glad for many of the opportunities I have today. (However, voting is a silly, unimportant little game which I do not care to take part in ever again.) But I personally feel that feminism has gotten way out of hand since the '60s or so. From my limited understanding of Feminism, I believe I recall the cause of it starting more in the '40s, when men went off to war and women ended up having to go to work in order to earn enough for themselves and usually their children. Then somewhere down the line after a bit of a battle for better worker compensation, women realized that they did not need men in order to make a living. That was what sparked the line of feminism which I don't appreciate--the putting-down and hatred of being a housewife and of accepting one's actual femininity. It has gotten very out of hand, and gender roles are getting knocked around as if they are of no importance. 

I am not very fond of the idea of women in the military. I mean, obviously those women can do what they want to and I am not stopping them. But when the idea that women must have equal rights in serving in the military goes so far as to cause the next draft to draft women as well, I am greatly opposed to it. I guess, though, that in some areas I am not as anti-feminist as I like to think I am. I agree that if a woman holds the same job as a man, she should get paid the same as that man. I'm not going to go parading this view up and down the streets with big signs or go sending petitions to congress or anything like that, though. I am not a passionate feminist...more like an extremely passive one, and only on a few areas.

Still, I am not feminist in a lot of things I believe. In my sociology and psychology classes I have had conversations (sparked by the material) with both guys and girls who seem to have a great misunderstanding of men and women's places in a household. The girls believed that for a woman to be a housewife was meaningless and was squashing her identity as a person into oblivion. They believed it was pointless, old-fashioned, and absurd that I want to be one should I get married and have children rather than pursuing a career. The guys expressed that they wouldn't want their wife lounging around the house all day while they as the male worked their butts off to bring home money. I think both views are extremely short-sighted, but nobody wanted to listen to me very much. But I turn around to my friends I have known for my entire life or nearly so, and they all agree with me. My girl friends want to be housewives, mothers, and teachers, and my guy friends want to have the careers and bring home the bacon (turkey bacon, that is). And that has been the natural order since the beginning of time, really. There has to be balance in the household. Someone needs to be the head, the breadwinner, the stable rock, and the man of the relationship; someone needs to be the cleaner, the nurturer, the caretaker, and the woman of the relationship. Equality, in my opinion, is overrated and misunderstood in this sense. Also, as long as I didn't have children to care for I would be working outside the home to contribute to the income, though I would want to have time for cooking and cleaning so that my husband has a comfortable place to come home to and just let go and relax after a hard day at work. I wouldn't want, especially after kids, my husband to come home to TV dinners or takeout once again, kids running around wild all over the place because they learn no manners at school, and the house being a wreck all the time. And after I have kids, I imagine I will still keep myself busy in my spare time writing or composing, and/or perhaps I will have created some sort of passive income. Whatever I end up doing, my identity is going to be far from gone (yes…even *gasp* if I take his last name! What a surprise!). What I do isn’t who I am. I am what I am. I believe that I am what I think. I find my identity in that. Oh, and I would love to be known as the wife of my husband who is a mother to his children. I don’t know why anyone has a problem with that.  

~Jessica