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Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Some Reflections on 2008

Books I’ve Read (I am pretty sure it is the shortest list I have ever had)
The Turn of the Screw by Henry James
Quest for Love by Elizabeth Elliot
Nicholas Nickelby by Charles Dickens
Twilight by Stephanie Meyer
Anne of Green Gables
Anne of Avonlea
Anne of the Island
Anne of Windy Poplars
Anne’s House of Dreams
Anne of Ingleside
Rainbow Valley
Rilla of Ingleside
by L. M. Montgomery
When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy
King Lear
A Midsummer Night’s Dream
by William Shakespeare
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Under the Tuscan Sun by Francine Prose
The Sea Wolf by Jack London
Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Patterson
Love, Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli
Into the Forest by Jean Hegland
Marriage and Family by Robert H. Lauer and Jeanette C. Lauer
Beowulf translated by Seamus Heaney
The Secrets of Songwriting by Susan Tucker
Thr3e by Ted Dekker
Let Me be a Woman by Elizabeth Elliot


Favorite Movie of 2008
I actually didn’t see that many movies, at least ones that were released this year. I kind of liked the Batman movie and the Twilight movie, but nothing really amazing stood out to me.


Favorite Songs Released in 2008
Low – Flo-ri-a ft. T-Pain
4 Minutes – Madonna ft. Justin Timberlake
Viva la Vida – Coldplay
Won’t Go Home Without You – Maroon 5


Favorite Songs that I’ve Listened to in 2008
All the TSO songs
All the Nickel Creek songs
Ben Folds, “The Luckiest”
Sweeny Todd Soundtrack
Evita Soundtrack


New Friends I’ve Met (in person…those who I have not met in person yet, I hope you are on this list at the end of 2009!)
Becca
Scott
Alex
Maryn
Moriah
Natalie


Things I’ve Done
Graduated
Gotten a laptop
Turned 18
Started to take piano more seriously
Discovered a love for composing and not just simple songwriting
Realized I don’t have to get married RIGHT NOW
Gotten more interested in reading my Bible and theology in general
Heard my life calling from afar
Completed an undefeated swimming season

Gone real camping for the first time
Tried my hand at sewing clothes (I have yet to see what the finished product will resemble)
Been more passionate than ever about homeschooling my own kids
Decided college is not for me (“college torture, / college university! / Arts and crafts is all I need, / I’ll take calligraphy / and then I’ll make a fake degree…”)
Played Ultimate Frisbee and really liked it
Won my heat and placed 10th for butterfly at the TSA championships
Started this blog
Decided I’m VERY done bragging about my accomplishments


Best Thing of 2008:
NO MORE SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! Time to start learning… :)


My thoughts at the beginning of the year:
My GOSH…I am going to graduate and THEN WHAT!?!??!?
And
If I don’t get married to *insert name here* then I don’t know what I will do!

My Thoughts at the end of the year:
You have to take time to listen to what God’s plans for you are. But he will reveal them to you eventually.
And
Right now I have as much chance of marrying ______ or _______ as I do anybody else in the world. So why should I give anybody, especially them, any romantic attention or thought right now? Crushes, no matter how you justify them, are crushes and mean nothing….

~Jessica

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Habits are Habits

Before I get on with the rest of the post, here are the songs you guys failed to guess....


3. "Eveline" - Nickel Creek
4. "Tangerine" - Led Zeppelin
5. "Why Can't This Be Love?" - Van Halen
9. "Sweetie" - Josh Rouse
12. "Where the Streets Have no Name" - U2
14. "Our Love" - Amy Grant
15. "Green Finch and Linnet Bird" - Sweeny Todd Soundtrack
17. "Little Green" - Joni Mitchel
19. "Next Year" - Foo Fighters
20. "Don't Forget Me (When I'm Gone)" - Glass Tiger

Okay, on to other matters.

Here is a thought for ya - eating bad is like watching pornography.

YES, that sounds extreme, but it really is a good association, if I do say so myself.  So let's say there is this guy who is 19 or 20 and he is watching pornography.  Not addictively, but not with any plan to stop any time soon either, perhaps he doesn't really think about it.  Then one day, he says, "oh, it is fine now.  It is not going to hurt anything because I am not married.  Once I get married, I will stop so that my relationship with my wife is the center focus and pornography does not hurt anything."  And then suppose I have been eating carelessly, which I often do, often justifying it with the common swimmer-ism "I can eat everything I want to because I burn a days worth of food off in one workout!".  Besides that excuse that is limited to, well, swimmers, I can also think, "Well, I am young now.  When I get married and pregnant I will then eat healthy so my baby gets proper nutrients.  But until then it doesn't matter."

There are two reasons why it does matter.  If you watch porn, it sticks in your mind.  It is there forever, and even if you forget, it will probably come up later.  Bad food stays with you forever, too.  Eventually you get to the point where you cannot digest all the fats, so they are stored, and fat cells as well.  They will come back to haunt you and some things could be harmful to your baby.

The other reason is that by the time you are married/pregnant, you will be addicted and it will be almost impossible to stop, even if you know it is best to.  

That is why it is just as important to be as careful with what I put in my mouth as with what I "put in" my eyes.  My mom thought I was kind of crazy for buying a prepregnancy book today from Barnes and Noble.  "Making plans we don't know about?" my dad asked.  Well, yes and no.  I got it mainly because I am interested in health/pregnancy/midwife stuff and this was the only thing there I really wanted besides a little herbal medicine handbook.  Okay, that is a lie.  I always want to buy the whole bookstore!  But I told myself I wanted to spend my giftcard on health-related books only because I have plenty of novels and animal books already that I haven't even gotten around to reading yet.  That said, besides wanting the book for educational-occupational purposes, I thought it would be a good book to read now so that I can go ahead and change any bad habits I have gotten into now rather than right before I get married.

Just one of those thoughts...

~Jessica   

Friday, December 26, 2008

What Bob Has to Say

My iPod Shuffle's name is Bob.  And this is what he has to say today in the latest episode of "Lazy Blogging" with material pirated from Allison's blog.


Step 1: Put your iPod on shuffle (unless you are privledged enough like me to own one of Bob's cousins, then this step is not necessary)
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 20 songs that play no matter how embarrassing (unless they are instrumental...I had to skip 11 of those)
Step 3: Bold over the songs that someone guesses correctly (that means you, loyal fans, are to guess what song it is by the opening line)
Step 4: Looking up the lyrics on any search engine is totally cheating and that's not cool (this also means you, loyal fans.  You will be banned fans if.....well, I just wanted to make that rhyme).

1. It took a lot to turn away, Blood and water from one side  
2.  All of your life now you have denied
3.  Eveline grips the railing as her lover calls her to the seas
4.  Measuring a summer's  day I only find it slips away to grey
5.  Whoa-oh here it comes, that funny feeling again
6.  I used to rule the world
7.  Tell me where it's hurting, are you burning?
8.  I'm gonna be a mighty king, so enemies beware
9.  Two lazy dreamers on a winter's night making plans for the spring
10.  An angel returned that night through the sky
11.  I read the news today, oh boy
12.  I want to run, I want to hide
13.  We all know the girls that I am talking about
14.  I don't know what to say to you, tears are on your face
15.  Green finch and linnet bird, nightengale, blackbird, how is it you sing?
16.  Momma never said it would be like this
17.  Born with the moon in Cancer
18.  Eva's pretty hands reach out and they reach wide
19.  I'm in the sky tonight, there I can keep by your side
20.  You take my breath away, love thinks it's here to stay

Thursday, December 25, 2008

It Feels Like Christmas...

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

One More Sleep Till Christmas!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

I Guess Sin Doesn't Matter Anymore...

If this post sounds confused or unstable...it is just purely from lack of organization since I am trying to see this from many different angles all at once....

Christians seem to have this idea that they are all under grace and that all the old laws do not apply anymore. Well, I have been doing some serious thinking, and I do not think that it is true. I mean, of course we are under grace. God gave us a precious gift by letting his son come down here and die for our sins. But just because someone died as a sacrifice does not mean that we can keep on sinning, does it? No…that is ridiculous. And anyways, why would we do that to somebody who just paid the ultimate sacrifice so that we would not have to pay it ourselves? That is selfish. The Bible says, “for by grace you have been saved through Christ Jesus.” It does not say, “for by grace you have been saved through Christ Jesus, so why don’t you go ahead and sin all you want since Jesus went through all that pain for you.”

I do not think there is essentially anything wrong with being carefree. After all, God says “do not worry about tomorrow for it will worry about itself.” He did NOT say, “do whatever the &#$@ you feel like doing today because tomorrow is a new day.” But, you might ask, why should we not sin? And why is it sin anyways? IT IS SIN BECAUSE GOD SAID SO. How can you call yourself a follower of God and then pick and choose the commandments that you feel are best suited to your lifestyle and obey only them? That is like saying, “I am a child of ME”, not “I am a child of God.”

Of course, I know that nobody is perfect. I am not perfect, and I would never go so far to say I am anywhere close unless I was fooling around. “For all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God,” but that is no excuse. God accepts that because he wants to accept everyone. That is why he made it possible to be saved merely through faith…because he knew it was impossible to be human and save yourself just by attempting to follow the law exactly. But you should not say, “Well, I guess we are all sinners…it is inevitable that I am going to sin anyways so I might as well not try to stop myself.”

Our reason for not sinning should not be for securing a place in Heaven, either. If we are all “justified freely by his grace”, then we are all going to Heaven, simple as that. However, as I said in a previous entry….don’t you think we owe it to God to obey his simple commandments? He has given us such a precious gift of grace and eternal life when we don’t deserve it. So why don’t we try the best we can to deserve it?

In the beginning, God gave man ONE SIMPLE RULE—DO NOT eat the fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. (You know, that is a pretty cool name for a tree. Nowadays we just have “magnolia” or “pine” or “apple”….those are so boring.) Adam and Eve could not see why God did not want them to eat the fruit, so they did, and look where that got us today. (Okay, it is probably true that if Adam and Eve did not sin, someone would have eventually done something.) God has made lots of commandments that do not make sense. Like, why can’t you eat pork? People eat pork all the time and it doesn’t hurt them. WELL….maybe you should not eat pork because GOD SAYS SO. Don’t you remember when you were a child and your parents told you to or to not do something, and when you questioned them they gave that frustrating answer, “because I said so”? I always hated that, because I liked reasons. I do not like doing seemingly unreasonable things: “Why do we only get to go 35 mph on this road? It’s perfectly safe to go at least 50!” I still haven’t figured out why Sunset Lake Road is that way……it takes FOREVER to go anywhere when I have to use that road.

Now, what if you still feel like you are under grace and that eating pork is not a problem? Well, that is your personal interpretation and conviction to believe that God has saved you thus, and that is fine. Still, wouldn’t it be better to be on the safe side? God may have even said, “It is okay to eat pork now,” but maybe he is also fine if you feel like you should stay with his original commandment. It obviously won’t hurt. And I am not saying anybody has to do this…this is just a personal conviction of mine that I have felt I need to adhere to. Why do we even have the Old Testament if it suddenly does not apply anymore?

Anyways, I have never read the entire Bible all the way through, so I have started doing that now. I may be wrong about some things. There is a certainty that you shall see more theological musings from me in the future. I am also willing to be corrected by someone who has read a part of the Bible that I have not. I just want to get it right, and I am very excited about all this!

I will talk to you all later,
~Jessica

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Another Blog Response

A friend of a friend named Andrew posted a very interesting list on his blog a few days ago. I left a comment on his blog, but now I have decided that since that comment was so long I will just post it here. So here is Andrew's list:

"I believe the following:
1.  The existence of God cannot be proven or dis proven.
2.  If heaven does exist, it should allow the good in regardless of belief.
3.  Your life should be dedicated to being a good person, not praising God.
4.  Whether Jesus is or is not the son of God is not important, his teachings are universal.
5.  If God truly is almighty he would not need you to give him thanks. Remember that Jesus had skeptics but he didn't cast them as damned.
6.  IF heaven is disproved you should still dedicate your life to being a good person.
7.  Starting wars, genocide, and hurting innocent lives are evil deeds. God, if he/she is proven to exist should never give just cause to any of them.
8.  Religion has caused more deaths then it has saved (number 7), although anything could happen. Many murders may have been avoided because the potential murderer has religious beliefs against killing.
9.  Religion should not but can act as a moral compass.
10.  Religion should not be irrational or have rules.
11.  The history of a religion is not important. The only thing that matters is the lessons it teach to make you a better person."

And here is my response:

1. Perhaps the existence of God could be proven simply because of all the miracles that happen everyday that could not happen otherwise.

2. What if, in God's eyes, someone is not good because they refuse to believe in him? They may do good works, and may not be inherently "bad" in the way our culture defines the word, but by denying his existence a person commits a very big sin in God's eyes.

3 and 5. God may not need our thanks and praise, but don't you think we could at least give him that much? He has done so much for us, and the least we can do is thank him. That does not mean we thank him and then go murder someone, however... :)

4 and 6 are true, though the Bible does say that Jesus IS the son of God, so I believe it.

In number 8 you kind of contradict yourself, though you make two good points. God did not intend these things to happen, but humans are humans and they are selfish. Still, this world is only temporary.

9. Why should religion not have rules? Aren't rules what religion is essentially about? I think religion is about having convictions, personal and/or divine, of some degree or another. Atheism has rules--you can't believe in God. Otherwise you cannot be an Atheist because that would really be missing the whole point.

10. Being a better person is good, but you can do that without religion, and often people who call themselves religious are not very good people.

On another note, I find that people, usually agnostics/atheists, tend to classify people who believe in a higher authority as "religious", and I see that they obviously are not fully aware of what they are talking about. The term "religion" is really referring to something you practice dutifully, etc. Buddhism and Islam are religions. Catholicism is a religion. Christianity is more of a belief. Judaism can be one or the other, depending on what kind of Jew you are. The kind of Christianity/Judaism that I think is best is the kind that people had in the Bible and what Martin Luther addressed in the 95 Theses, and that is man having a personal relationship with God. Sure, there are things God requires you to and to not do, but it is not so much something you do ritualistically as it is something you do because you love your creator and therefore wish to keep his commandments.

11.  The history of a religion is very important, because all history is important.  You know the phrase, "history repeats itself"?  It exists because people aren't bothering to learn from the past...

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Preoccupations of the Mind

Now that the Holiday break is upon me (almost...I have an exam tonight but I had no problem with the study guide so I'm sure it will be fine), perhaps I will be able to write more. I have been a lazy blogger all semester. Here! Read a poem I wrote a year and a half ago! Watch this thing on YouTube I watched over the summer! Yes, I have occasionally appeared live and in person, but most of the blogs that posted were scheduled in August. I don't mean to be so impersonal, but I wanted you all to have something to read while I had no time to write it. Consequently I am quite out of poetry until my brain can think up some more. Video of the Week shall be taking a break until I run out of time again (probably some time mid-January, so if you think about it, it really isn't that long). The truth is I really enjoy blogging, and wish to continue doing it. It just is a big time consumer. I'm not saying it wastes my time, but it probably is not the most useful thing to be doing either.


So...since something like Friday afternoon (after my English exam was over), I have started overwhelming myself with a bunch of information. That sounds a little funny to your Average Joe, I guess, who is probably scratching his head and wondering "why is she studying MORE now that she is done with school for the semester?" and why do people scratch their heads anyways? Does having your brain respond to something make it itchy? I don't scratch my head when I am wondering something, but perhaps I am used to wondering and I have become immune to brain-itches. Nonetheless, learning is something I have been waiting to do all semester! Sure, Sociology is interesting enough for a while, but then it just gets depressing and I start to think that maybe the reason the population is declining is because everyone is taking Sociology of the Family and getting depressed and discouraged about having families. I have not changed my mind, but let me tell you that some of this stuff is painful to study. And I am not even from one of those broken homes or blended families or anything else like that! I have talked to other people in the class who are not as blessed as I am to have a mom, dad, and siblings of origin who are a traditional family with joint sharing-something-or-other and we all love each other most of the time, and it gets to them more than it does me. However, I shall prevail.

What I was saying before I got off on that was.....um......yeah. Learning. Oh, I also learned in British Literature, don't worry. It was a fun class. But all the paper writing drove me crazy, as usual. The only class I want to take over again where I had to write papers would be English 111. That was the best class ever....I could pick ANY subject to write about and could be as opinionated or satirical as I so desired. It was paradise. For me.

SO BACK TO WHAT I WAS SAYING TWO PARAGRAPHS AGO, I have learned a lot since Friday, and it hasn't even been a week. First of all, some friends came to stay over Friday because their parents went out of town. One of these friends really likes to educate people on very interesting things. I could just sit there all day and he would tell me everything about anything I wanted to know about. I don't know how somebody can have so much information in their head and be able to recall it exactly and then explain it to somebody like me in a way that that somebody can actually understand it. So after two days or so I learned a lot more than I expected to, plus he had brought some Michael Rood DVDs that we watched Friday night. Michael Rood is extremely cool, I have discovered. I like cool people. :D

After all of that, I then began doing all that I have been looking forward to all semester, which is learning. I have been studying law, religion, medicine/health stuff, and midwifery. It is all quite fascinating. The only problem is that I am now putting so much into my brain that I haven't really been talking to anyone. This blog post is the most I have said in five days, and this is writing. I don't know if my mother has noticed anything, but I seem to be having trouble keeping up conversation. She asks me, "How was your day?" And I answer, "Uh...good." "What did you do?" "Uh....stuff."

Yeah, I guess I still am a teenager, but I usually am...uh....responsive. I am a girl. I talk. At least, I thought I did, but I guess I don't. I am too preoccupied. I feel like Mr. Meredith from the Anne of Green Gables books. I am too preoccupied with my theological musings that I cannot seem to do anything but look glazed over and then go back to studying, perhaps writing down some thoughts on what I am reading. Yes, I had about three epiphanies yesterday, so I wrote those in my journal, and went right back to studying. I am sure I am driving my mother crazy. Sorry mom!

On top of all that, if I do have a conversation it is very surface, even with people I normally do not have surface conversations with. Take this blog entry for instance. I can't even think of anything to say other than "I have not been able to think of anything to say." I DO NOT FEEL LIKE CARRYING ON A CONVERSATION. Let me repeat....I am a girl and conversations are all-too-natural.

Perhaps I am in Absorbing Mode. I am a sponge that may be in dire need of squeezing, but squeezing hurts, so for right now I am only dripping. Some day I will submit to being squeezed, but for right now just leave me be, and feel free to run water on me or dunk me in a pan of water...I am all for it!

Let this be a disclaimer--if I do not talk to you this week or do not talk much, please do not think I don't like you. That is not true. I [probably] like you very much.

Talk you you all later (heh heh...)
~Jessica


Monday, December 15, 2008

Video of the Week

His whistle is a Bb instead of a D like mine....but, man...I can only dream to play like he does one day...

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Practicalities

A friend recently asked whether I liked this guy that I have been hanging out with a lot and if liked me or not.  "Well, it's not really like that," I said.  "What do you mean by that?"  she asked.  I then wondered how I had gotten so good at being vague.  "It's kind of a long story," I said, as we happened to be texting and I happened to be cleaning the house while we were doing so.  "I'll e-mail you later with an explanation."


So I took a very long time carefully thinking out how to explain it, only to find out that she skimmed over it to find the juicy parts (juicy?  No.  And they would have made more sense if she had read the whole e-mail!).  So I decided to post it on here for all ye "we already know about this...no big news or anything" people, in the hopes that you will tell me whether I explained myself well enough and in a way that doesn't sound TOO practical, dull, or rules-ish.  So, here it is:

Okay, here's the deal (like I said, it's a long story, so brace yourself). This is a natural thing for me because I've been brought up on the concept, and so has practically everyone else I know (we, the strange homeschoolers....). But, to put it as simply as I feel I possibly can while still making sense, we (me, this guy-friend, and our friends) see dating as kind of a frivolous thing. Some people do it for fun, other people do it because they like each other, other people do it because they love each other. But rarely is it ever for the purpose of getting married. Sure, you could turn that around and say, "well, you date to see if that person is the right person to marry." But there are problems with that. First of all, why use that particular format of spending time together and therefore get so emotionally attached to someone when it may not last? To have your heart broken? We all know that is absolutely no fun and it hurts just as much, if not more, every time it happens. Second of all, dating is even more pointless when the two people involved are not even close to being prepared for marriage. Referring back to item number one, you become attached to someone, and then what? You can't do anything about it. You can't get married. On top of that, throw in teenage hormones and an underdeveloped cerebral cortex (which, if you haven't taken any psychology courses yet, is the part of the brain which houses impulse control and moral judgment) and you have a GIANT potential mistake waiting to happen. The cerebral cortex is not fully developed usually until around 22 or 23.
 
Of course, a person, can learn to control his or herself in situations like that, which usually requires what I think of as "complete abstinence." That means not just not giving in to temptation, but avoiding anything tempting altogether so that the mind does not even feel an urge of any sort. Physical temptation, emotional temptation....it's all the same really. But a person can control his or her own mind. This means saying "no" to certain things. Things like being in any sort of romantic relationship before one is ready to do something. If you give yourself over emotionally, then what? If you give yourself over physically, then what? Of course, this doesn't make sense to a lot of people, most of whom just live for the moment. But I am thinking of my future husband. Is he going to want to hear of all the guys I gave my heart to? Who I gave any part of my body to? No, because I would not want to hear the same story from him. I want to give my heart only to my husband, and I want him to give his heart only to me. If you think about it, emotional/physical relationships before engagement and marriage are essentially adultery to my future husband. They will sit on my conscience forever, even if I tell him (which I will--I can't lie to my husband).

So you are probably wondering, "how on earth am I supposed to get married if I can't be in a relationship?" and perhaps, "if I were to be in a relationship, I guess I would have to sit there like a cold, heartless statue or something, wouldn't I?" That is where "courtship" comes in. Yeah, it's an old-fashioned term. And the way that this is a lot like arranged marriages may be a turn-off. But here is the concept: A guy and a girl are friends. Maybe just friends who exchange a little conversation here and there during or after church, work, school, or something else like that. Maybe they have a big group of mutual friends and they all hang out together often. Maybe their families are good friends with each other. Or any other situation you can think of. The girl may like the guy, maybe not. Maybe she has never thought about it, but she really likes him as a friend. He more than likely likes her. And it's not for shallow things like looks, but it is really about personality. He has been observing her in her natural habitat(s); observing her interactions with girls, other guys, little kids, older people, and her family. Chances are, she has been observing him in the same areas. In their conversations they have surely found, like any friends do, that they have many things in common, and that they like being around each other. Now, depending both on the age of the two parties involved, as well as the readiness they feel, it may be months or it may be years. In my case I know it will be at least two more years (but that is really beside the point). But one day, when they guy has prayed about it and sought others' opinions on the matter (not just his friends, but also his parents and probably other people who know the girl in mind), he will call up the father and ask to meet him for breakfast somewhere. I mean, it doesn't have to be breakfast, it doesn't have to be a phone call...just minor details. :D But somehow or another, he will get into a conversation with the father, and, once he musters up the courage, he will finally ask to court the daughter. It took my friend's older sister's now-husband three breakfasts with her dad to come out with the question.  Hey, I mean, it's a test of manly courage and things like that.  :) 

Anyways, next comes the courtship part. Firstly, it is important that both his and your families are involved. Secondly, courting is not dating. Courting is spending time together, but not investing in each other emotionally anywhere near as much as you would in a typical dating situation. Let's just say that that is very hard to do. The point of the courtship would be to get to know if the other is really right for a spouse or not. Well, there is no denying that emotion is going to get invested. After all, how are you supposed to hang out with someone (and, often times, that someone's family) with the hopes of getting married soon and be expected to not fall madly in love with each other in that process? That's why emotion and passion are not the main focus, no matter how present they happen to be. What courtship focuses on is practicality and logic about the situation, as well as making sure that God is the center of everything (if you are religious, that is). You probably know from experience that, in love, our first inclinations are to...well, feel love for that person. And feelings are very strong...you should never underestimate them. Thus, a feeling of passion can easily get carried away with itself. If no rules, boundaries, or limitations are set (like Cesar Millan says :P), then of course passion is going to be the center focus. But before the courtship begins, plans are laid out. And guess who gets to be in charge of it and who keeps an eye on the two as the courtship progresses? The parents and siblings! Yes, that sounds like a nightmare to most people, but really....the people who care about you the most and know you best, AND who are NOT emotionally invested in the relationship (or, at least, not nearly as much as you are) are going to be there for you the whole way! And if something doesn't seem right, they will let you know. The reality is that courtships don't always end up in marriage, though it is pretty rare. The reason is that courtship is meant to get to see if that person is right for you to get married to. And sometimes they are not. But most of the time they are, and once the courtship has been going smoothly and you both feel like you are called to marry each other at that time (it could be weeks, months, or years...), then the guy will (with the permission of her dad again, of course) ask the girl to marry him. Once engagement starts, then romance can really step into the picture, emotionally speaking, anyways. But proceeding with caution is necessary, as nothing is final till he and you have been pronounced husband and wife. And once THAT happens, it is officially time to invest in each other emotionally and physically and everythingelseically!!! I hope all this has made sense to you. Please, berate me with questions if it so pleases you. I don't want to leave you scratching your head and wondering when the homeschoolers went mad, if that wasn't what you assumed us to be anyways.  :D

So, yeah....like I've said before, my guy friend is a most amazing friend.  If something happens between us, then that is wonderful.  Now is just not the right time, and if the right time does come, the relationship will not go down like your typical guy-girl relationship you see most often in this culture.  I hope I have explained myself well enough and given you a different perspective that may even be inspirational!

Your friend,
Jessica
 
    

Monday, December 8, 2008

Video of the Week

This video was recommended by Elizabeth B. the other night when she was at my house. Hehehehehehe....it's funnier if you know the real song, but it's fine anyways. :)

Saturday, December 6, 2008

The Sight of My Love...

A Poem by Jessica Claire Barker

My love, my love
I see you there
I pause in the door way
And I stare
I've just returned
From rushing 'round
Now I'm home with you
Knowing I'm safe and sound
The corners of your mouth
Turned up in a smile
In wonderland
You have been a while
I long to ask you
Where you are
And where you've been
You have traveled far
My love, I know
In dreamland be
I don't wish to wake
You from your fantasy
I glide over-
Yes, I dare-
To kiss your eyes
And stroke your hair
"I love you," I whisper
As I lay my head down
I listen to your heart
'Tis the purest sound
Dawn breaks and I realize
The beats fade away
And I see I am caught
In the moment of today
I look down to where
My love should be
And I shed a single tear
Over what I do not see
"Someday," I murmur,
"You won't be a dream.
My love won't disappear
at the first sunbeam....."

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Who Starts These Tag Things Anyways????

This is one of those "trying to be Sarah" moments.....I can't remember what kind of flower this is, though....but it was blooming in August, whatever it was, and I think it was a vine of some sort.  Moonvine?  I don't know.  This was about 7 in the morning, but, yes, I took it.  The focus is all off.....


The rules:  Go to your picture file, go to your fifth picture, post it, and then tag five people.  Considering we all know each other, the people available to tag are getting mighty slim.  I will, as Lizzie did, tag some people who probably won't do it, but at least they will be tagged: Michelle, Chris, Mr. H......and....oh, good grief. I will re-tag Marck and Allison, even though Lizzie already did. You see, if two people tag them, then they definitely SHOULD respond, right??  Right.      

Monday, December 1, 2008

Video of the Week

I really thing this guy has a good approach to things...he's obviously a Libertarian...I like the way he confronts the issue. Good grief...Americans can be so shallow sometimes, and I'm glad I'm not the only one who notices!

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